“Every man has a property in his own person. This nobody has a right to, but himself.”


~John Locke


John Locke was an English philosopher and physician, widely regarded as one of the most influential of Enlightenment thinkers who died in 1704 at the age of 72. 

Lately I’ve been thinking about ownership. Not in the sense of owning someone or some thing else but in ownership of our selves and our feelings. I think it is so easy to get caught up in another person. To get caught up in their thoughts and feeling which we have absolutely no control over. We take ownership of that which is not ours to own and that can quickly lead to heartache and frustration. 

In my childbirth class, one of the things we talk about is playing the “what if game”. We have all done it and its not usually a great game. It usually looks like, “what is something really bad happens? What if I get into an accident? What if that person thinks I’m an idiot or worse?”

I think everyone gets in their head sometimes and questions things. It could be questioning a job or a life path, morals, or a relationship with another person. I think questioning can be good. It can help you evaluate if that thing is still working for you at that time. The challenging part is maintaining ownership of your own feelings. It’s easy to say ‘why is my boss such and ass’ or ‘why doesn’t the other person do this?’ But we can’t change outside circumstances. 

We could say “why won’t my car just work right” but we don’t usually talk to the car about how it can change it’s behavior. If it stops doing the job we need it to do, then we have a choice to make: keep it the way it is, fix it or sell it. Ok, so people are a little more complicated than cars but my point is about ownership. With the car, we take ownership of that car and decide what WE are going to do to fix the issue. Usually when there is a disagrement between people, our first response is to blame it on the other person, (“Why cant they just _______?”) when really we should be looking inward. (Why does that upset me? Does this serve me right now? What can I do to fix this issue?) 

I certainly get in my head more than most people know. Right now in my life, I’m working on accepting things as they are and assessing if that works for me and who I am. It’s easy to do when you’re not emotionally attached but much harder when you are. So when something or someone upsets you or you feel hurt, take ownership of your feeling because they are yours and no one elses. Your feelings are your power!  

No one can feel joy for you just like no one can feel hurt for you. No one can make you feel joy and no one caan make you feel hurt either. 

So today, when a feeling comes up, OWN IT! Feel it and see if it is something that servers who you are today. If it doesn’t, let it go.


In Love and Light,

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